Why chemicals in our blood intensify our sex addiction problem

Our body is designed in a way so that we can do numerous task at the same time without any confusion. Imaging we have to do many tasks at the same time such as breathing, making sure our heartbeat is in perfect symphony, seeing, thinking, walking, balancing and etc and etc. And if our body do not have a system to automate each one of them so we do not need to think of what to do every single time we do them we will be in serious trouble. You do not have to tell your body how to breathe or tell your heart to beat. It is done automatically. Our brain also allows us to function in a way that when you repeatedly do a task again and again, you will built and strengthen a neural connection in your brain. Thus when this neural connection reaches a certain thickness, your task becomes automated when there is a trigger. Connected to this reasoning when you stop doing this task for a long time, your neural connection will get thinner and thinner and its power over you will diminish.

An example would be when someone learns to play the piano. Initially it is very tough as a lot of effort have to be put into learning all the musical notes and the various right finger movements. But if one puts in a lot of effort and practice about 5 hours everyday. In about 6 months’ time, he will be able to play without much conscious effort as the neural connection for playing the piano and certain songs thicken. But once you have stopped playing piano for a long time such as a few years, your neural connection will get smaller and your ability to play will be affected.

Another analogy is the muscles in your body. If you keep training your particular muscles day in and day out, eventually your muscles will get thicker and stronger. Similarly if you stop training for a long time, your muscle will get thinner and weaker.

Thus your addiction is in a way related to this. The reason you get addicted is because you keep masturbating to a picture, movie or what you imaging again and again. And to further strengthen your “addiction” you sealed it up with a strong exciting emotion of orgasm (in chemical term it is know as a strong blast of dopamine – one of the blood chemistry that your body produces when you are excited) Thus every time you do this, you strengthen the neural connection of masturbation with the various images, videos, exciting sounds, exciting emotions such as orgasm. Another part of this addiction is when you are in the “ritual”, that is, when you are anticipating, imagining and especially if it is illegal or you are doing it secretly. These “ritual” will produce an adrenaline and dopamine rush which creates a super high feeling and an association or strengthening of the neural which the most powerful as it is emotionally charged.

Thus you will realize that after a while you do not know why every time you see an image be it a short skirt, undergarment, a beautiful lady, some perfume or something you have seen during your internet cruising, you suddenly feel a strong urge to do something such as masturbation or to go and search for that particular image or video. This is the result of the neural connection you have built up. Once this thick neural connection is triggered, there is no way to stop as nature has built in a system that never fails. This is supposedly to make sure our human kind will continue to exist and it is known as procreation or in our common definition “sex”. But we humans have misused this and it has turned into a vicious cycle of masturbation, internet surfing, watching pornography, taking irrational risk related to these, searching for naked images and etc.

One more point to further emphasize this is that some addiction such as shoplifting, gambling, Pedophilia, exhibitionism and etc produce an abnormally high feeling and a strong rush due to the dangerous and risk taking nature of these activities. The higher the risk or danger, the higher the natural drug adrenaline and dopamine are generated by our brain. The beautiful sensations of high is so great that the person don’t even care if this may result in them getting arrested, fired from their job, risking their marriage, risking their reputation and etc. This explained why some high profile people are caught with shoplifting, finding prostitute, exhibitionism, pedophilism and etc. Example will be rich movies stars shoplifting despite being filthy rich (They do not need the things they steal as they clearly can afford it but are just going for the adrenaline and dopamine high that the danger of being caught creates)

Thus having all these knowledge will at least provide you with some solution to get yourself cured, you need to stay away from all this activities for a long time in order for the neural connections to become thinner and weaker. It is at least a start in the right direction.

Saying is easier than doing it. But at least now that you know what causes this uncontrollable urge to do things even though you are a nice, sensible and rationale person.

But you will realize that the first few weeks are going to be the hardest. You realized that to have a long and lasting cure in any thing, it usually will take longer and harder. It’s like if you want to build a strong and tall building, you need to make sure your foundation is very good. The only way to have a strong and healthy foundation is that you have to do a very good job and with proper materials. This will usually translate into a least a few weeks of painstaking piling and foundation building. Once done, you can build a tall building on it and it will last virtually forever for all to marvel. If someone were to tell you that you don’t have to spend so much time to build a foundation at all and you can do it in a day’s time, you can imagine what will happen to the building eventually.

Please if you want good result, apply it slowly and steadily. Never haste. All haste and you will lose your way. You have to understand that you have taken many months or many years to build up your neural connection. It has become so thick that it can probably hold billion of cells. You will not expect it to be cured in a few days, weeks or even months?
You will need more then that! The first 2 months will be the hardest and subsequent month it will be easier but still hard.

An analogy of this is the launch of rocket into the sky. Do you know that the rocket need the biggest push to escape the earth’s strong gravitational force before it can reach the outer space where the force is weaker and thus is able to cruise forward with a smaller force. This is exactly what happens when you first start to quit your internet addiction. But as you push forward, you will discover that it gets easier and easier.

Horse Sex and Other Outrageous Stories Become Online Megastars.

Seattle Times staff columnist Danny Westneat wrote an article last year about a man that died from anal sex with a horse. This story was so outlandish that it became the all time most read article in the history of the Seattle Times. According to Danny Westneat 4 of the top 20 articles were also on this same horse sex incident, “So much so, a case can be made that the articles on horse sex are the most widely read material this paper has published in its 109-year history. ” Anywhere you look on the internet outrageous and sickening stories always make up the most read, emailed and downloaded articles.
Society has, as a whole, taken a very marked interest in what’s different, weird, sickening, etc… There are whole blogs, forums and more dedicated to this. Millions of people are logging on and reading this somewhat questionable content. Web publishers and advertisers are catching on and using pay per click and other avenues of advertising to target keywords for popular stories like horse sex and such. According to Danny, “It’s not just the horse sex. The rest of the top 20 people’s-choice list is eye-opening, as well.” It is well known that advertisers want marked results and news stories and websites are now being tracked for what is popular and what isn’t. Websites and blogs have become virtually marketable real estate just like actual land. With one exception, instead of location, location, location its content, content, content.
Its out with the norm and in with the outlandish. This is why O.J. Simpsons famous chase had much more publicity and staying power than any presidents state of the union address. This horse sex and similar has probably by now been featured on Jerry Springer and maybe it will be on Oprah if she needs a ratings boost someday.
This obsession is not new. One only has to look in the recent past – Ed Gein whom the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was loosly based on. Charles Cullen, the male nurse whom killed 35 – 40 hospital patients in his care with deadly, unprescribed medicines. Or the sick Henry Lee Lucas, having killed more than 300 men, women and children. All of these sensational and horrible stories of evil and outrage have commanded more attention than all the wars in history. This is why shows like MTV’s Jackass become huge hits and Johnie Knoxville a star big enough to play one of the Duke brothers and rumored to have been intimate with Jessica Simpson.
Society is obsessed or addicted to anything out of the norm. The more outrageous the better the ratings. Biblically speaking it sounds like we are following in the footsteps of Sodom and Gomorrah. Do you remember this story? Each of these cities had become so enthralled with wickedness that God destroyed them.
“Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah –from the LORD out of the heavens. Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities –and also the vegetation in the land.” Genesis 19:24, 25 NIV
You could dismiss this as a biblical fairytale until recently as archeologists have now found the ruined cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. And yes they were covered with ash and sulfur balls. As more and more of the bible is proven true, maybe we need to pay more attention to the recent signs that the end times mentioned in Revelations could happen in our lifetimes. We could become the next Sodom and Gomorrah if we keep lusting for the sick, perverse, deranged, etc…

Behind Closed Doors Sex Sells

The tabloid perception of the Net as a place populated by pornographers, teenage hackers bent on world domination and petty criminals can sometimes seem uncomfortably close to the truth. Recent statistics show that people pay out twice as much for online pornography as they do for all other subscription based Internet services combined.

Although it’s easy to get infuriated when the mainstream media portray the web as some kind of virtual Sodom and Gomorrah, there’s no denying that a lot of commerce on the Net is decidedly dodgy. The kinds of enterprise that operate in back alleyways and behind closed doors in real life are singing, dancing and stripping down to a G-string all over the web, and they’re raking in money hand over fist while other dotcoms are clearing their desks.

Why is it that activities that are relegated to the seedier parts of the real world are doing some of the web’s biggest business? The easiest answer is ‘because they can’, but there’s more to it than that. There’s more than just the anonymity of accessing porn sites while you’re sitting in your pajamas or the illicit thrill of having a flutter with your credit card while your partner watches TV in the next room. Why are some things acceptable on the Net when they’re forbidden elsewhere?

One of the reasons is that one culture’s clandestine pleasure is another’s bread and butter, and the Net is an International phenomenon. Betting is illegal in most US states but in Nevada, an exception to this rule, they turned a tiny desert town called Las Vegas into a garish city of theme-park dimensions dedicated to mammon.

All over the world there are enclaves where doing naughty things is the norm. In Amsterdam marijuana is available to buy and smoke in licensed cafes. It is estimated that in Hong Kong 60% of all software is pirated, while Bangkok is often referred to as the world’s sex industry.

The high incidence of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases has made cyber sex even more appealing. There are loads of sex-related sites on the Net. Not all of them are pornographic.

What all these places have in common, besides the obvious, is that the main consumers of the services they supply are almost always tourists. People travel thousands of miles to these places because they know that a blind eye will be turned to whichever morally ambiguous behavior they choose to indulge in. But why trek halfway across the world when all these illicit diversions can come to you?

It isn’t strictly the anonymity of the web that’s the attraction, and the ambiguous nature of International Internet legislation is a catalyst rather than a justification. The main benefit is that the Net lets you bring a little of the underworld into your own home, in conditions where you’re in control and where you can feel safe.

Sex Sells

The Net is filled with porn. You can’t switch on your computer without a pneumatic nymphet thrusting her extremities at you while a virus infects your hard disk, steals your credit card details, sells your children drugs, and burns down your house. The truth about sex on the Net is that while we all know it’s there, it isn’t really as obvious or insidious as Mr. Outraged thinks. You have to go looking for it. Statistics show a lot of Net users do.

Sex & the City and the Jack Rabbit

The title catches your eye off the bat and puts you in a particular mindset if you’re familiar with the popular contemporary TV show Sex & The City and the vibrator known as the Jack Rabbit. Don’t worry, if you’re reading this, you’re not going to get an explanation on the vibrator or the sentiments that the show often portrays about what is healthy sexually speaking for the stars.

However, it is noteworthy, for the purpose of making a line of demarcation between what is portrayed on television versus what is real and truly satisfying when it comes to a healthy sexual relationship.

Television tends to glamorize sex and such toys to a disproportionate extent. Love is often equated with lust and misinterpreted as a constant and unending need for sexual intercourse with changing partners, also considered as promiscuous. Whether it is glorified on television as being what is normal, it should be clearly understood that what television portrays as being of sexual satisfaction bears little if any resemblance to the truth.

What viewers sometimes forget is that television stars are paid to perform a role, an act. It is a job, something they do for money. If the role requires an actress to smoke a cigarette, even if she does not smoke, she will pretend to puff the cigarette because the role calls for it.

How sex is portrayed on television is no different and trying to recreate sexual scenes from television in a marriage can often lead to disappointment, frustration and disillusionment because what has been witnessed on television is just an act.

The earth shattering orgasms and virtually endless sexcapades are also an act. Keeping the spark alive in your marriage and sex life is not about trying to recreate what you’ve seen on television but about making your own happiness with realistic expectations of each other.

Arousal and intimacy, in real life, have limitations. No one is a true constant sex machine. Appreciate the times when you are feeling desires towards your mate and vice versa and respect the occasions when you or your mate may not be feeling any arousal or intimacy. Don’t determine the worth of your sexual relationship by the number of orgasms but by the degree of satisfaction each of you feels.

Keep communication in the bedroom and the bed. Don’t expect your mate to read your mind and know what will please you. Talk about trying new things and admit if they work or if they don’t. Be willing to experiment but don’t destroy your bedroom furniture trying to enact a scene from a movie that was staged on a set to begin with.

When it comes to adult toys such as vibrators, there are thousands of different types. If you and your spouse are interested in trying such an adult toy, go ahead. But make a wise choice based on mutual interest, not television program antics. Be adventurous enough to try something once and if it doesn’t work, be willing to try something else new.

Low Libido? Turbo-charge your Sex Life

Handsome hunk, actor Martin, who pumped iron at a gym and was a regular pub-hopper, suddenly found himself with no desire for sex. Enquiry revealed that he used anabolic steroids, abused his body by drinking, smoking and eating out every day. His body buckled under these bingeing sessions, lowering his libido and affecting his sexual performance. Several others are today afflicted by similar lifestyle disorders, affecting their sex life and relationships. Sexual energy moves through the psyche (mind) and the body. If it’s channelised elsewhere, it will not flow in sex, thus reducing the sexual drive in a person. Low libido is the result of the diversion of psychic energies. Diversion if energies could have reasons ranging from physical, emotional and mental to social and even spiritual. So, it is important to diagnose the reason and take corrective measures to improve libido.

DON’T ABUSE YOUR BODY

It may not be evident, but wearing tight undergarments compresses the testicles which produce the hormone testosterone, lowering its production. Low levels of the hormone lead to low libido. Use of anabolic steroids too adversely affects the libido, as also other forms of abuse. In smokers, nicotine damages the arterial lining, making it attract cholesterol, thus narrOwing the arteries. Therefore, the blood flowing to the sex organs is less, and affects the erection in men. Many believe that alcohol aids arousal. The reality is that alcohol might initially relax you enough to create some sexual arousal, but excessive consumption actually results in lowering the sexual drive.

Alcohol affects the liver function adversely, and the hormone testosterone is activated in the liver. Moreover, if you suffer from borderline diabetes, alcohol makes it worse. An unhealthy diet comprising oily, high-caloric, sugar-laden foods could result in high cholesterol which narrows arteries, restricts blood flow and affects sexual performance. If one is suffering from hypertension (high blood pressure) due to wrong food habits and obesity resulting from the same and uses anti-hypertensive medication, one might suffer from the side-effect of a lowered libido. Keeping late nights and parrying till the wee hours of the morning result in erratic sleep patterns and accumulated fatigue, which adversely affect libido.

FOR IMPROVED LIBIDO, YOU NEED:

· Adequate sleep.

· Healthy diet.

. Abstinence from excessive smoking and drinking.

· A fitness regime.

. To avoid steroids and anti-depressants.

DIRECT YOUR ENERGIES WISELY

Due to stressful lifestyles, psychic energies are also diverted into emotions like anxiety and depression. If one’s energies are locked up in worrying about performance evaluations on the job, competing with colleagues for promotions, and being on the lookout for better opportunities, not much psychic energy is available to flow into sex. High conflict levels between the husband and wife too result in stressful emotions, leading to lowered libido. Use of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications to combat stress is another cause.

Both investment banker Andrew and mutual fund manager David were distressed by their low libido. While the adrenalin rush that came from the handling of monies was so great that, to Andrew, sex paled in comparison, David was so stressed with market fluctuations, which swayed his clients’ fortunes, that he was left mentally and emotionally fatigued. Today double-income couples find no leisure to unwind and connect as a couple. Any time together is spent on household chores, planning home/car loan payments, discussing economics, or work-related issues. Therefore, the psychic energies of both are locked in preoccupations other than connecting sensually, thus lowering libido in both.

TO ADD THE SIZZLE BACK:

· Consciously plan a weekend getaway.

· Make a pact to not discuss work during the holiday.

· Make time for each other, at least a few minutes every day in the morning and evening.

· Cut down on unnecessary chores to get more free time together.

STOP BEING A SUPERWOMAN

Malvika was excessively preoccupied with her duties towards her in-laws and extended family and coping with a hectic social life, throwing parties and attending them too. She was also anxious about her role as a mother and her children’s performance at school. Parents who have moved away from naturally loving and instinctive parenting become emotional wrecks who are torn between showcasing their kids and being unconditionally loving parents. With psychic energies being diverted towards stressful parenting, low libido is a definite fall-out.

FOR STRESS-FREE PARENTING AND BETTER SEX:

· Focus on living sane, balanced and loving inner and outer lives.

· Don’t get bogged down by parenting pressures.

· Don’t pile too much on your plate.

· Do your best, forget the rest.

· Give up trying to please everybody.

· Be kind to yourself.

OTHER CAUSES OF LOW LIBIDO

VOWS OF CELIBACY

People who surrender to the philosophies of some spiritual cults that encourage you to take the vow of celibacy, could gradually start experiencing low libido as they sublimate their urges in prayer, rituals and service-oriented activities. The bottom line is that wherever you channelise your psychic energies, they will gradually flow in that direction.

PSEUDO LOW LIBIDO

There is also the entity of a pseudo low libido, which is only reported by the partner of one who ‘claims’ to have a low libido. Banker Susan reported a virtually non-existent sexual life between her and her husband. Her husband Roger reported that he did not have any sexual urge ‘with his wife’ and therefore did not initiate sex. His words ‘with his wife’ gave him away. Roger only ’seemed’ to have a low libido, which was not the reality. He was obviously resorting to other outlets for his sexual urges. He later admitted to self-pleasuring with fantasies of other women, which he claimed gratified him more than the ’sexual exercise’ with his wife.

SELF-PLEASURING AND PORNOGRAPHY

The internet is getting many people hooked to a lifestyle of sex chatting and self-pleasuring by viewing porn sites. Also, there is a remarkable increase in affairs at the workplace, people travelling on the job and using ‘escort services’ in foreign lands. A hectic work schedule with one foot at the airport and one at home is also getting people engaged more in self-pleasuring in fantasy with or without the aid of porn, as a routine, as it is ‘more convenient’. These are not actual cases of low libido but only perceived as such by their partners, as they engage their libido elsewhere.

All in all, your lifestyle is responsible for your low libido. Only a wholesome change in your lifestyle can help you restore balance in every aspect of your life. So, identify the cause, take corrective measures and rediscover your sexual pleasures.